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Mom, I Moved to California and Joined a Cult [ Part 2

PART 2: The Facebook Thread when Things First Began to Come to Light

D & S  Not my photo

Nina:  If anyone cares to know why I am no longer an active member of the kundalini group, Kundalini Awakening Systems 1, the D & S parts sum it up: I had absolutely no experience in these realms and so could not identify it as such.

I have never felt completely at ease or that I could trust Guru C. He is a man, after all–not the god that some in the group make him out to be. Like many gurus, he is in charge of his brood of mostly 40-60 year old hens who are looking for renewed purpose after their children have gone. It didn’t make sense to me that a guru full of love and espousing oneness should make his students feel true frustration and anguish due to him and his guidance. If that guidance is indeed divine, then it should feel “right” in the core of our being.

Nina:  A shaman in the porn industry with much experience with guru personalities gently explained the concepts of dominance and submission (D & S) to me when I was baffled by C’s responses while I was “proving to him that I trusted him completely” and “letting go of my ego”. C was surprised that I was unemotional about stripping down, getting on all fours and worshipping at his feet—all at his command. The exercise didn’t sit well with me, because it didn’t feel “right” and because I didn’t understand how this was strengthening my bond with my personal/universal spirituality. He supposedly did, so I did as I was told, quietly observing myself and the situation.

Being enlightened by my friend about the strangeness of D & S  has opened my eyes to much of the psychology of what has gone on in the group and why the guru had treated me as he did. Evidently these guys can get off just by ordering you around, having you do mundane stuff like “walk over to the refrigerator, now go look at yourself in a mirror…”  There is a tremendous amount of brainwashing that occurred in the group –especially with the trataka meditation to his photo once one has become initiated as a private student. The guru tells us not to fear but then instills fear in his teachings (like most religious doctrine).

I remain a passive part of the group because specific group members are so fabulous and have wonderful posts that are both teaching and healing. It gives me opportunity to send healing to those within the group. I have ALWAYS thought a few of the key group members to be larger vessels of good-hearted, insightful mojo than said “guru”.  They (WE) were the true power fueling the positivity of the group–especially the two matriarchs Rose Cork and Hoosier Lotus.  “Master C” is merely mortal man with some darkness in his history. I felt this as I lay naked with him, my head on his chest. Seamy, Bosch-like worlds that I knew not of previously were exposed. There have been flashes of clairvoyance and oodles of synchronicity with MEMBERS–even those on the other side of the world, so much so that I cannot feel but be connected. The group acts as a forum that does bring people together and support those experiencing k symptoms. The group forum can be used as a security blanket when sailing into the unchartered waters of what lies beyond the veil. I oftentimes and strongly feel that what keeps the group going has more to do with the group members than with the personality behind it.

A hummingbird just came to my window to say hello to me!

I feel it is time for my K-sisters to know this part of my experience and use the information as they see fit. The group has brought together some truly beautiful people with strong flowing flames of Kundalini. I am forever grateful for the website that allowed me to find the group. It allayed so many of my fears when experiencing the phenomena of opening up to other frequencies and realities. I miss connecting with the mojo of certain group members.

(Hummingbird looking in at me through my window again).

Glass Cross, you are one little hot fireball of mojo!!! The oddest things occur after being in contact with you, even if we connect only in FB messages. You look so serene in all of your photos; it is always a bit disarming when the phenomena sets in. Rose Cork and Hoosier Lotus, you are infinite diamonds of electricity, beauty, and power. You will always be my K sisters. Delicate Dawn, you are like the cautious fawn that tiptoes into the glen as one happens to be admiring its verdant splendor, taking one’s breath away with the beauty of magical nature. Thank you for opening our eyes to it through your photographs. Blessings to you all, and to Flügel as well. I would prefer that you did not repost this on FB or on the K site. I don’t want the information to break up the group or my relationship with the above mentioned, which is why I haven’t previously discussed it. The group does good for many. I merely want people to realize that they can get what they need from the group without having to be a private student and subject themselves to the whims of another human being’s baggage. There is nothing wrong for seeking guidance from a teacher.

Nina:  From wiki, “The aspects of D/S and B/D may not include physical suffering at all, but include the sensations inherited by different emotions of the mind.[26] Dominance & Submission of power is an entirely different experience, and is not always psychologically associated with physical pain. Many BDSM activities might not involve any kind of pain or humiliation, but just the exchange of Powers (Power Exchange).[19][26] During the activities, the practitioners may feel endorphins comparable to the so-called “runner’s high” or to the afterglow of orgasm.[27] The corresponding trance-like mental state is also known as “subspace” for the submissive, or “topspace” for the dominant. Some use the term “body stress” to describe this physiological sensation.[28] This experience of algolagnia is important, but is not the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from pain by the word sublime.[29] There is a wide array of BDSM practitioners who take part in sessions for which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow their partners to fulfill their own needs and/or fetishes.”

Nina:  On being a guru–

“And so I talk in the same spirit. I don’t have a group of followers. I’m not trying to make disciples; because I work on the principle of a physician rather than a clergyman. A physician is always trying to get rid of his patients, and send them away healthy to stand on their own feet, whereas a clergyman is trying to get them as members of a religious organization so that they will continue to pay their pledges, pay the mortgage on an expensive building and generally belong to the church, boost its membership and thereby prove – by sheer weight of numbers – the veracity of its tenants. My objective is really to get rid of you so that you won’t need me or any other teacher.

“I’m afraid some of my colleagues would not approve of that attitude because it is widely believed and said that in order to advance in the spiritual life – whatever that is – it is essential that you have a guru, and that you accord to that guru, perfect obedience.

“And so I’m often asked the question ‘is it really necessary to have a guru?’ I can answer that only by saying ‘yes, it is necessary if you think so’. ”

–Alan Watts

Nina:  Understand that, for me, being naked with fellow human beings–even out in public–is not a taboo thing. That whole part of his argument of exploring ourselves outside of our comfort zone for the purposes of “learning” and “what is being directed by Shakti” doesn’t fly with me.

Those are merely words being used for his particular brand of psychology.

Dude is into power play.

And he is VERY clever with what gives him diversion.

A. Ray: I toll you Lucy! Never trust a guy in an orange jumpsuit.

A. Ray:  They are called psychopaths, or in some circles “the shameless” (no sense of guilt). Fetish type people are honest about the game they play, they don’t give “it” some kind of benign guru healing title. Still, some will never believe the danger ……that is the psychopath at work. There is only one way to deal with psychopaths. Get away, Stay away, don’t be the hero, the others won’t listen.

That makes the second “guru” type to be outed around me this year. The other guru taught sacred Hindu belly dance. (That guy was REALLY clever)

The moment you use the word “guru” you’re already under the spell. That is the nature of the word

A. Ray: There are gurus, because there are people who feel lost. They are always predators… Always.

Nina:  It is easy to feel lost when reality starts to melt and morph at a faster rate than “normal”. ‘Microcosmic Orbit’ and ‘How to Avoid Kundalini Syndrome’ were not courses offered in college. My parents never sat me down and had a good ol’ heart to heart about psychonautics. Bless you, A. Ray. It is nice to have someone to call when one is sitting in front of one’s fireplace with a huge purple sea slug attached to their knee and the carpet turns to non-slimey Jell-o.

Nina: Bouncy!

Nina: I am staggered at the amount of subtle brainwashing that occurs in a relatively short period, all from needing to feel “understood” and the high of feeling like one “belongs”.

Nina:   Good God!  Guru C even used the BDSM term “body stress position” when he had an incredibly beautiful girl strip before us and get on all fours saying “Yes, Master!”  He had them numbered: “Assume body stress position #4”.  Ahhhh, fucking religion. We think we are opening our eyes, all the while being blinded. We need to close our eyes and look within!!!

Nina:  And when the four of us were naked in bed together, the guru made me “sleep” next to the beautiful girl while I was in the middle of a sexual fast that he had put me on.

Nina:  How’s this for a Nina Easter post? :D

A. Ray:  The Code of Professional Standards of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher:

A. Ray:  The 16 Facets of Perfection of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher:

A. Ray: There have been many scandals among kundalini yoga teachers – particularly sexual scandals:

Nina:  I remember how C became jealous of a guy we were all mooning over at a seminar. The guy had eyes like a cow: gorgeous jet-lashed, deep brown eyes one could easily get lost in. We had to project love to one another with our eyes, and boy-oh-boy, this guy was GOOD at it. When C found out the girls were asking and chatting about the newby, suddenly the cow-eyed boy had tons of entity attachment. C then made a big show of trying to dismiss “the entities” behind his back during an exercise. This goes in direct opposition to a code of conduct that has to do with messing with other people’s energy fields. One MUST ask and receive permission first of the recipient before trying to alter their field. This includes “altering” by specifically sending love or healing in an attempt to change someone’s field or vibration. Messing with someone’s entity attachment is a no-no without permission.

A. Ray:  A con with an ass-hram. I grow more angry….. but the hens need him as badly as he needs them. Like brides from Russia, it’s not a great deal for either but it fills a need on each side.

Nina:  I benefited greatly from certain aspects. It was a good lesson. I didn’t get hurt too badly. I met some of the most beautiful people and shared metaphysical phenomena with them that was gorgeous.

Nina:  It strengthened the bond between you and me, A. Ray.

Nina:  To Glass Cross, Rose Cork, & Delicate Dawn: (I have defriended Hoosier Lotus out of respect and love since she is living at the ashram) I am giving you this information anonymously. I do not want to be dragged by name into this drama. It would be hurtful to my friends and it is not my intention to break up the group. C is not the only predator out there. We need to learn to dance around it and not let it affect us. Most importantly, we need to have our OWN dialog with the divine. This is part of the lesson. Ultimately we are one with ALL. This includes the dark as well as the light.

Nina:  AND I never ASKED to put my hands on his feet. He COMMANDED me (while I was on all fours).  “Yes, Master.  I obey.”  I can’t believe I really said that over and over again!!!

What Shakti (or my intuition) had directed me to do, while C was waiting for me to “prove my devotion” by “whatever comes to you”, was to leave the room by going out the sliding glass door to the balcony on the second floor (I could have easily climbed down–I wasn’t even naked yet). C saw me glance at the sliding glass door, so he moved over there and closed the curtain. I guess he thought I wanted privacy. I dismissed my inner voice and therefore ended up instead on a dirty hotel floor, naked on all fours, not having a lick of fun, feeling completely disconnected from Shakti, and absolutely bewildered.
Next time I will listen.

Nina: Next time I am naked on a dirty hotel room floor, I will be having fun!!!


Moose:  Will be right behind you–pushing you forward–for mutual support…

Nina:  Oh, Moose.  ♥  x ♥  x ♥

Nina:  YOU have permission to pull my hair.

Nina:  And give me a slap on the ass.

Moose:  Well… in that case–I’ll even bring you coffee in the morning…

Nina:  Please, DEAR SISTERS, I have people contacting me from KAS. I am merely offering this as substantiation to the stories being circulated. At one time I was a private student and a respected member. You can use parts of this in support of the young ladies whose intentions and stories are being questioned. BUT PLEASE DO SO ANONYMOUSLY. IT IS NOT MY INTENTION TO BREAK UP THE GROUP. People who are quick to defend C without hearing the stories will not be swayed. BRAINWASHING is a larger part of this than you suspect. You can put the two young ladies in question in contact with me, because I think I can help them. The one story I read, I believe to be completely true and closely correlates with my own. C used a little more caution with me because I was older and well-versed in the subject of lecherous old men.  My job has a lot to do with psychology and stroking egos.   Still, C eventually got me naked and before he did, he hinted at the possibility of having to snatch entities from deep inside of my vagina “because they like to hide there, the little buggers”. 
Whatever, Master.

Tattoo Babe: Most of the masters and dommes that I have encountered are egomaniacs. They have their issues. Most are self serving and full of propaganda.

Tattoo Babe: It is so much about brainwashing. Miss Nina, so not your style, my sweet free thinker.

Nina:  That is why I am unscathed and stronger. I developed friendships with some dear ones with super powerful mojo.  I am reluctant to give up my friends.

Nina: There are some young women right now who have been sexually abused. I want to be of service to them if I can be.

Tattoo Babe: Perhaps that was always the reason?

Nina:  Yes, dear Tattoo Babe, the thought did come to mind. I love you! ♥  x ♥  x ♥

Tattoo Babe: My love for you is cosmic. ♥ ♥ ♥

(PART 1: A Little Background)

(PART 3: Warning Signs and Incongruities)


Click here to link to a forum of opinion regarding KAS / Guru C

About ninasbreakfast

“Let’s take a trip, me and you, let’s go the scenic route…headlong into the irresistible orbit” –The band, Morphine

One response to “Mom, I Moved to California and Joined a Cult [ Part 2

  1. Sandy ⋅

    He has Kundalini. He has a Fetish. He is insecure. He is human. He is walking a spiritual path. He is fulfilling his sexual desires. He is using his position of power “that others gave him mind you”, to make these things happen. The balance between pureness of heart and egoistic desires is a challenge in this life, that I’m sure he is fighting in himself everyday. As we all do. Though unethical as these things may be, if they are in fact true, the blame ultimately is on the people that saw him as more than human and submitted themselves without question. I was a KAS member for a while. If you read between the lines you could see the positive and negative of him. Just like everybody else. Unfortunately too many people did and continue to give him messianic status. This blog if true, has probably saved a few lost souls from being victims of him.

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