Well, I didn’t join the cult over night. I lived here in Southern California for many years before it happened. And I never thought it would happen to me—so fiercely independent!!! But it did, oh yes indeedy!
I can’t say that it was an entirely negative experience either. There were parts of it that were beautiful. It happened in a really roundabout way; I ended up finding the cult and joining, instead of being lured into it by a cult member. While I was the most deeply emerged, many friends, family, and co-workers noticed a positive change in me.
I have always had a hard time with the image of God sitting on His throne in Heaven—especially after close loved ones started moving to the other side of the veil. I have dabbled in Eastern philosophy and chi-kung since my 20’s. Simply believing in energy seemed to align with some heightened right-brained sensitivities that I have had my entire life, but also satisfied my logical left brain. We ARE electrical beings. Tesla proved that there is electricity all around us for the taking. I find quantum physics and fractals fascinating. I had done many experiments with moving energy around my own and my lovers’ bodies. Residual energy and frequencies also explain the clairsentience I seem to be blessed with.
The phenomena I was experiencing had become heightened. I won’t go into any detail here except that amongst the many happenings, there were some really good hallucinogenic visions while I was awake and stone cold sober. Much of this was in tandem with extreme pressure on the inside of the crown of my head. I sometimes felt like my brains were going to crack a vent in my skull so that they could have a little sunroof. I vaguely remembered a friend of a friend who gave himself something called kundalini syndrome and he could only eat yogurt and rice for about two years (or something like that). I have messed with microcosmic orbit, where one purposefully circulates and guides energy through the body. I have done this carelessly and extravagantly utilizing both my energy and that of my lovers.
Due to my rather convoluted ignorance, I did a Google search on kundalini syndrome and found the website for the group.
The website described much of the phenomena I was experiencing. It helped to dispel the fear. I wasn’t going crazy and there are many others out there experiencing something similar (there were also many who were foolishly craving to have these experiences). I joined the kundalini group, Kundalini Awakening Systems or KAS. I quickly became respected by others in the group having shown a few brief moments of serendipitous clarity and connectivity with members around the globe. It is difficult to believe that we are not somehow all connected after some of the random and strange experiences I have had. Know that when it comes to religion and believing in people who espouse any kind of special powers, I am a skeptic. I cannot worship anything anthropomorphic unless it looks like this:
Part 2 is a collection of my Facebook posts right when new scandals with the guru were coming to light. At the time I had close friends who were both in the guru’s camp and those who were siding with the young women taken advantage of. I have since cut myself off from the entire group, which is sad. I had sincere and meaningful friendships with a handful of members. I miss this connection.
I send love to my K brothers and sisters. You know who you are.